What does being "Authentic On-Camera" actually mean? What if I *feel* scared?
May 10, 2021You'll hear me talk a lot about being "authentic on- camera." So I want to share with you what that really means.
Public speaking can be absolutely terrifying or absolutely exhilarating. And speaking into a lens is now the most common form of public speaking. Most people won't be feeling like their best, most confident selves before getting in front of the camera, or getting on a stage. So, it begs the question, how to show up "authentically" as the real you, even if you're feeling scared, but in a way that can still inspire, inform and entertain your audience?I actually wanted to use the stage example for a moment because I was just having a conversation with a really amazing, phenomenal stage speaker. She's well known and has traveled to speak on several famous stages in front of thousands of people. And she was saying, well, I don't want to show up as my authentic self at that moment because it would be just the scared shitless person who's feeling really vulnerable and unworthy and feeling all the fears in that moment. But the thing is, our emotions are fleeting.
They're, they're not really us, whatever emotion it is that we're feeling. That emotion is maybe the truth of that moment and that experience, but it's not the truth of our essence. You are not fear. You are not walking around, just scared shitless of everything all of the time.
I believe that the real, authentic, genuine essence of who it is that you are, is the version of you that said YES. The version of you that said yes to speaking on that stage, to showing up to believing in your greater mission, message, and vision for this business and this life that you're building for yourself.
I mean, that might not be true for everybody, but I think that's true for you because you're here. You're reading this right now. You've shown up in this space as an entrepreneur, as a driven person who has this desire, this purpose, something fueling you where you just know that you're meant for more.
You know and accept that growth can feel scary and that the fear is part of it, it makes you choose courage. To feel afraid and do it anyway. You know that you can't be contained and trapped in a little box of playing small.
If you've ever heard my story of when I was working in corrections and that awareness struck me, when I woke up to that feeling of my greatest fear, of being trapped and stuck, and I realized that was the existence I had been choosing all along. I finally realized that I was actually not imprisoned and I had the freedom to change my life and to do things differently. That moment expanded my mind into pursuing the things that brought me joy and helped me look for the light, look for the optimism, look for the opportunities.
That path of insight introduced me to personal development, which introduced me into entrepreneurialism, which grew my spirituality and deepened the truth of my existence of who I was and who I knew that I could be. I began to wake up to be who it is that I really truly am at my core. THAT is my authentic self.
I think that's you too. It might look different for you, however it translates into your body and your spirit and the way that you bring it to life. But that's the real you.
Now on the flip side of that truth, of our emotions being fleeting, that we are not sadness, we are not fear, we just feel those sensations sometimes - they are not actually who we are. Then that goes for all emotions, even the good feeling ones.
We actually aren't those emotions, we are a remarkable cosmic spirit that gets to experience an incredible array of feelings throughout our lifetime. So what about when we're stepping into this expanded space outside of our comfort zone and we're trying to increase our confidence? Confidence is just the emotion, so, what we do is we attach that feeling and that sensation of embracing our confident self with our conviction. With the conviction and the certainty of our message, of how it ties into your core self, to who it is that you really are. That authentic, sincere, and genuine version of you that we just discussed. That is your truth.
We want to start attaching your emotion of confidence to your Truth so that it becomes significantly easier to step into that feeling of confidence and becomes more accessible, more normal, more of your baseline state of being.
So you can approach the scary situations, the expansive things, that push you up against that comfort zone edge where we're growing a little bit more, and feel that resistance, that fear, and still say that everything that is okay, that you are okay, you're just aware now that this is on your edge.
If we can start allowing ourselves to have more of a baseline of that co-habitation with the fear, then we can begin to say we genuinely, confidently believe in ourselves. That's the practice of the act of courage. Do you see? So you're going to be brave because you're going to choose courage.
That doesn't mean you're not going to feel afraid. That doesn't mean that it's not going to be scary. It doesn't mean that there won't be obstacles and hurdles to overcome and work through, but that no matter what comes your way, you've already decided that you will be okay. So if you make the decision to step into the emotion of confidence, as much as you can, then take the act of courage and actually then DO the scary thing, that's being brave! And each time you do that and survive, your ego-based emotions that are trying to protect you will see that it is safe, that you made it out okay, and will give you less and less resistance each time you continue to do the brave thing!
Now, when we're specifically talking about video work, there's a couple of things that we need to pay attention to with this because if you're showing up on camera from that place of, "Oh shit, this is so scary. Oh my God, I hate this. I hate this. Why am I here? What am I doing?" And that's your inner mind chatter, the noise in the back of your thoughts is terrified, resentful, and all over the place, that's not going to serve you. When that's happening, you're not really present in the moment to your message, and you're not attaching it to that core essence of the real authentic you and why it is that you're doing what you're doing, then all of the noise and the chatter of that fear is going to become really loud, distracting and damaging.
So, what we want to do is start learning and implementing the skills to turn down the volume on that noise of all of the fear and the chatter and the insecurities and the self-doubt and all of the things that start to show up for us as like, is this really me? What if I am my fears? Instead of showing up in that terrified and nervous energy. Because the audience feels what we feel. The lens is powerful and they can see some of that mental noise chatter going on if it's distracting you enough.
We have to acknowledge that it's our job as the on-camera person, as the performer, as the onscreen talent, it's our responsibility to be presenting in a way that's going to elicit the emotion we need to receive from the audience.
Think about when you watch TV shows and movies and you see something that you feel really connected with versus something that you're like, "Oh, that was really... that was not good..."
And you feel a disconnection, it feels like they're lying to you, right? On-screen talent comes from telling the truth, from being believable in a sincere way. That's our responsibility when we're in front of the lens, is to be believable.
Now, it's still subjective. In a way, this absolutely is an art form and art is highly subjective, so you'll have people who think, "I completely love this person!" and then the person next to them think, "Nah, I don't believe them. I don't like this, it doesn't resonate with me."
And that's completely fine! Because what that is, is your energy coming across. If your energy is attached to your core message, your real authentic self, your truth, then it's your genuine essence, personality, and unique delivery. If that's the way that you're showing up, that's POWERFUL and going to resonate with some people, and those are your people. That's your audience. That's great because you are being true to your truth. Do you see?
The person next to them might not like you, your content, it might feel like you're fake to them or the message doesn't resonate with them and that means - as long as you're being connected to your actual Truth - then it's just not an energetic match with that person.
Because we have personalities, unique stories, unique energy, we are automatically polarizing and that is 100% necessary when building a standout brand.
It is a GREAT thing!
So when you learn to step into your sincere, genuine conviction and your certainty of your message, your solutions, what you offer, and how you show up, that's when you are being your authentic self and will become an absolute magnet to your perfect audience. Does that make sense? Do you see how that's showing up in excellence, that's showing up with your charisma. That's showing up authentically.
Now I want to touch on the nerves real quickly because sometimes they're going to surprise us!
Nerves can sneak up on us even if you've done the work and you've really been practicing and implementing this. And I just want you to know that that's okay.
The nervousness means that you're hitting your comfort zone edge in a big way, you're expanding and your body feels it. It just means that you're extra aware of it in this moment for whatever reason and it hit you harder in this particular scenario.
Nerves mean you CARE, feeling nervous means you're excited!
Nerves are now an extra energy source that you can use to your benefit. So instead of being mad or frustrated with yourself, take a beat before if you can, if you haven't started filming yet, and take a few deep breaths. Implement the specific tools and exercises I teach you for creating your "Before" practice that you can utilize that excess in your favor instead of it becoming a distraction.
Do you see how that works? You can actually use that energy and funnel it through the camera lens to show passion and enthusiasm instead of it being dispersed and awkward in your body.
When you begin to notice the jittery feel of nerves pop up just, take a beat and bring your attention back into the present moment of your topic, who you're speaking to, what you're talking about, and show up with that conviction, decide to be courageous and show up in a way that's going to be authentic to your truth.
Remember your Truth in that moment, and that will really help you start to harness and focus that energy. But also practice some forgiveness. That self-compassion and understanding that when those nerves hit, it just means that you're on your edge. That it means that you care. So forgive yourself, keep implementing your tools and continue to move forward.
I hope this helps you understand really what that means to show up as your version of what is truly authentic to you in your delivery, in your content and the way that you show up and serve your audiences.
xo, Lady Kellsie